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00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,361
♪ ♪
2
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(no voice)
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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
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♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
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♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
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♪ On the night we kissed ♪
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♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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Ripped By mstoll
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(sighs with satisfaction)
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Hey, Mom.
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Morning, honey.
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Where's Andy? He was supposed
to be down 15 minutes ago.
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He's upstairs getting dressed.
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Oh, yeah, it's his first day
of kindergarten, Mom.
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He doesn't want to be late.
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Most of the kids I knew
who were late for kindergarten
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never bounced back.
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Some are unemployed,
some are in jail,
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the rest are at Grant College.
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Seems like yesterday
we were taking you
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to your first day
of kindergarten.
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What a nightmare that was.
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I thought it went
rather smoothly.
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No, as soon as you found out
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that your kindergarten teacher's
name was Mrs. McGovern,
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you became hysterical.
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We could not convince you
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that she wasn't related
to George McGovern.
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You kept screaming,
"Nixon's the one.
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Four more years."
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Jennifer, I'm telling you,
you look great!
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I just want a second opinion.
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Mom, what do you think
of this blouse?
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Well, the blouse is fine.
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Where'd you get the pants?
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Mallory and I
went shopping yesterday.
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Well, how'd they get so ripped?
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We had them done at the store.
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Costs a little extra,
but it's worth it
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to get them ripped
professionally, huh?
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Well, Jen, you're not
wearing those pants to school.
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Why? When you and Dad
were in school,
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all your clothes were ripped...
I've seen pictures.
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That's different.
49
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Why?
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I'll go ask your father.
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Jen, I'm telling you, you are
gonna do great in high school.
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Yeah, Jen, what are you
worried about?
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This is Harding High.
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This is my alma mater.
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I'm a legend there.
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Let's see your schedule.
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Okay, let's take...
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Okay, first period,
you got Mr. Gibson for English.
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No problem.
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He loved me, wrote me
a recommendation for college.
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Second period,
Mrs. Hentaugh for math.
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She wrote me two recommendations
for college.
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Third period,
Mr. Kaufman for science.
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He drove me to college.
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Andy, Andy,
let's get to work, buddy.
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Got a lot of ground
to cover here.
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First day of kindergarten,
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you want to get off
to a good start, right?
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I'm ready, Alex.
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Yeah, the first thing
your teacher's gonna ask
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is what you did over the summer.
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Now, a lot of kids are
gonna say, "I went to the zoo"
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or "I went to the beach"
or "I went to a baseball game."
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What are you gonna say?
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I watched
the Iran-Contra hearings.
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And?
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President Reagan
doesn't know anything.
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Doesn't know anything
about the scandal.
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Okay, you don't want to be
quoted out of context.
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Alex, we've been over this
a thousand times.
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Well, just... humor me, okay?
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Because our ripped pants
were a political statement.
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BOTH:
What?
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That's why we could wear ripped
pants to school and you can't.
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Forget about the pants
for a minute.
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What do you think of the blouse?
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The blouse I like.
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It's hip, it's rad, it's gnarly.
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You'll have to change it.
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Okay, Keaton school bus
leaving in 15 minutes.
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First stop: Kindergarten.
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Coming, Alex?
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Mm, I don't have to be on campus
till 11:00, Dad.
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Tough schedule at Leland, huh?
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Well, considering you go
to a college that offers
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a graduate program
in Trivial Pursuit,
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I wouldn't start with
the college jokes.
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00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,498
And for your information,
it's not a class,
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it's a psychology experiment.
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I didn't know you had
an interest in psychology.
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I don't.
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I have an interest in money.
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Yes, you've mentioned that.
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Some, uh, psych major's doing
a paper on overachievers...
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put an ad in the Leland Gazette
looking for participants,
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so I thought I'd apply.
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It's 100 bucks just to see
what makes a guy like me tick.
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Oh. Well, when they find out,
please let us know.
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(clattering)
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Chester, please.
I'm trying to work here.
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Are you hungry?
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What are you in the mood for?
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Where did you learn
the sign for McNuggets?
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(knocking on door)
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Thanks. I know it's the door.
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Hello. Can I help you?
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Hello.
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(mouthing)
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Alex P. Keaton, overachiever.
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Good. I'm Lauren Miller.
Come in.
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Thanks.
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Come on, Chester, lunchtime!
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He wants McNuggets.
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Again?
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(Alex clears throat)
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I'm not gonna look like that
when you're done with me, am I?
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No, no, no. Chester's here
learning sign language.
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He has over
a 300-word vocabulary.
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That's incredible!
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I have a sister
who gets by on half that.
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Have a seat, Alex.
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Oh, thanks very much.
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Whoa.
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So, have you ever
been the subject
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of a psychological profile
before?
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Uh, well, not officially,
Lauren.
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Uh, although,
when my younger sister Jennifer
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was in the fifth grade,
she had to do a paper
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on a member of the family
and chose me.
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That's sweet.
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Yeah, I still remember
the title.
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It was, uh, "He Ain't Heavy...
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"But He's Annoying...
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He's My Brother."
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Well, this study will probably
be a little different.
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Although I do like that title.
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Now let me see
your resume, please.
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Uh, sure.
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Just got to... one sec.
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(groans)
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There you go.
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Well, you sure have been a busy
little beaver, haven't you?
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Lord knows I try.
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"Member of Phi Beta Kappa.
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"President of
the Young Entrepreneurs Club.
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"President of the
Young Businessmen's Club.
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"President of the Alliance
of Young Entrepreneurs
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and Young Businessmen."
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Thank God someone finally
got them together.
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Well, it wasn't
really that hard.
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I'm the only member
of both clubs.
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"Winner of
the McKinley Fellowship,
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the Rotary Scholarship,
the Wilson Scholarship."
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Alex, this is really impressive.
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Seems like the only thing
you haven't won yet
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is the Miss America contest.
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Well, you know
that's all political.
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I'm really glad that you'll be
a part of this study.
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You mean I'm accepted?
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Accepted?
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Alex, you are
the classic overachiever.
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You're the Babe Ruth
of overachievers.
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Well, we can start on Tuesday.
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00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,714
The sessions will run
about an hour.
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All right.
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Of course, you'll be paid
for your participation.
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Paid? Paid?
178
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Come on.
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Forget about it.
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No, it's really not necessary.
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It's reward enough for me to be
able to help a fellow student
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00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:42,995
in pursuit of
academic knowledge.
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00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,986
Well, it's $50 a session.
184
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,804
The ad said a hundred.
185
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,906
No, no, it's a hundred
for schizophrenics
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and 50 for overachievers.
187
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Uh, why?
188
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Uh, what, are you getting
189
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a two-for-one deal
on schizophrenics?
190
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,918
No, we just have variable rates
191
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,620
depending on
the particular study.
192
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Now, we can begin...
193
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,822
The ad said a hundred.
194
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,290
No, I've got it right here.
195
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:12,692
Then... uh-huh...
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You see, 100 for schizophrenics,
85 for manic-depressives,
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00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:18,931
and 50 for overachievers.
198
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,466
I don't believe this.
199
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:23,035
I'm-I'm being penalized
for being normal.
200
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,137
Anyone who merged
the Young Businessmen
201
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:28,470
and the Young Entrepreneurs
is not normal.
202
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,912
Ooh. Ooh.
203
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,480
What is that supposed to mean?
204
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,516
It means that
all of you overachievers
205
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are exactly the same.
206
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,252
You know, all you care about
207
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,853
is how much money
you're getting paid.
208
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,222
Well, what happened to the idea
of helping a fellow student
209
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:45,057
in the pursuit
of academic knowledge?
210
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,559
I wouldn't exactly call
211
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,962
a psychology experiment
academic knowledge.
212
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:51,230
What's wrong with psychology?
213
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:52,398
Nothing, nothing.
214
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,000
Has its place, right up there
215
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,831
with all the other
make-believe disciplines.
216
00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:01,340
Like anthropology, sociology...
217
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,638
my personal favorite,
women's studies.
218
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,147
Well, for your information,
Mr. Keaton,
219
00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:10,116
psychology is
a very real discipline.
220
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,084
But of course,
I know it's not as exciting
221
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,419
as sitting in a business class,
222
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:15,021
learning how to
take over the world
223
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,289
in one huge
multinational merger.
224
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,456
All right, okay, all right.
225
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:18,824
Don't start knocking
business majors
226
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,693
just 'cause we don't have time
to sit around
227
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,128
and get in touch
with our feelings.
228
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,262
Oh, I know you don't.
229
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:24,397
That's 'cause you're too busy
230
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,865
getting in touch
with your brokers.
231
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,333
You leave my broker out of this.
232
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,737
I'll tell you what.
233
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,940
I don't know if you business,
economic, yuppie,
234
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,274
Republican overachievers
have any feelings
235
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,576
to get in touch with.
236
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,144
Oh! Oh, really? Oh, really?
237
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,545
Well, I've got a feeling.
238
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,782
I got a feeling that
this whole thing is a mistake!
239
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,550
See, I know
where this study is going.
240
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,986
You're trying to show that just
because I am an overachiever,
241
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,421
that I have no soul.
242
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,056
That all I care about is money.
243
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,354
Well, let me tell you something,
missy, you are wrong.
244
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,189
And I'm not doing this
for a penny less than 75.
245
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,071
Hey, sorry I'm so late.
246
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,906
How'd the psychology session go?
247
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,642
Oh, Ma, if you don't mind,
I'd rather not talk about it.
248
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:10,643
Sorry.
249
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:11,978
I had a great first day.
250
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,212
I'm taking this biology course,
251
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,981
and I thought
it'd be really boring,
252
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:18,985
but I found a way
to relate it to my major.
253
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:22,388
Found a way to relate biology
and fashion design?
254
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,689
Uh-huh.
255
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:26,525
My first... my first research
paper is gonna be called
256
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:30,894
"Darwin and the Survival
of the Best Fitted."
257
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:36,068
That's real interesting, honey.
258
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:40,339
My basic premise is that certain
animal species became extinct
259
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:43,142
for the same reason certain
types of clothes disappear...
260
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,508
they simply go out of style.
261
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,850
In other words, the dinosaur
and the leisure suit
262
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:54,020
suffered the same fate.
263
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:58,324
I-I think it's a little more
complex than-than that, Mallory.
264
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,760
See, the dinosaurs
became extinct because of
265
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,597
some very severe,
uh, climatic changes
266
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,132
in the Earth's temperature.
267
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:07,199
Exactly.
268
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:09,190
They didn't have
a good winter wardrobe.
269
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,239
Meanwhile, the mammals
are running around
270
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:17,009
in stylish fur coats,
so they survived.
271
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,210
(chuckles)
272
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:20,201
Yeah, that's great, honey.
273
00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:25,151
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
274
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,752
There's no way that happened.
275
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,820
How do you know?
276
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,989
Were you there?
277
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:33,426
I've taken enough history to
know that the dinosaurs' problem
278
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,795
was not a lack of earmuffs.
279
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,129
What's your problem tonight?
280
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:38,531
Yeah, what's bothering you,
honey?
281
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,499
Did something go wrong
at the psychology session?
282
00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:43,469
I go to see this girl,
this Lauren Miller girl, right?
283
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:44,970
The one, the one
that's conducting
284
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:47,039
the experiment on overachievers.
285
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,774
Anyway, things started out fine.
286
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,876
Said hello, you know,
exchanged a few pleasantries.
287
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,111
The next thing I know,
288
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,913
we get into this huge argument
about money.
289
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:57,083
Mm-hmm. In other words,
the same thing that happens
290
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,852
when you meet anybody.
291
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:02,655
Even though the ad clearly
stated $100 per session,
292
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,356
she tells me that's
just for schizophrenics.
293
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,058
That's so typical of psychology:
294
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,295
I'm being paid less money 'cause
I only have one personality.
295
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,286
If that.
296
00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:16,702
Then she starts accusing me
297
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,437
of being just like
all the other overachievers.
298
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:20,506
Um, only being interested
in money, and, uh...
299
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,808
and status, you know?
300
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:25,111
Not having time for the more
emotional areas in my life.
301
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,880
I'm telling you, nobody's
irritated me this much,
302
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,939
this fast, since
the first time I met Ellen.
303
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,754
Aw, come on...
I know what you're thinking.
304
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,689
You're thinking
I'm falling for this girl.
305
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,990
There's no way, that's not true.
306
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,981
Alex and Lauren,
sittin' in a tree...
307
00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:49,001
Why don't you go put some
earmuffs on a dinosaur, Mal?
308
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,503
(phone ringing)
309
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:51,771
Hello.
310
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,705
Uh...
311
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,708
Oh, um... ye-yes, uh-hmm.
312
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,709
Just-Just a second.
313
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,244
Alex, it's Lauren Miller.
314
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,235
It is?
315
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:05,751
What does she... what...
what does she want?
316
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,753
She agrees to $75,
317
00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:09,455
and she wants to know
if you'll start Tuesday.
318
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,690
Uh, uh, just, uh...
tell-tell-tell her I'm eating.
319
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,292
All right? No! Um...
320
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,661
Uh, tell her, uh...
tell her I'm in the shower.
321
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:17,429
No. No, um...
322
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,420
Uh, tell-tell her
I'm eating in the shower.
323
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,869
You know, I think he
might be able to get
324
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,860
that schizophrenic
rate after all.
325
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:37,345
Yes, Alex is coming back.
326
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:43,823
I know how you feel about him.
327
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,457
(sputters)
328
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,220
(knocking on door)
329
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,233
Alex P. Keaton, overachiever.
330
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,224
(shrieking)
331
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:02,241
Hey, Chester.
How you doing, buddy?
332
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,542
What-What does it mean
333
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,533
when he holds up his
middle finger like that?
334
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,417
Exactly what you think it means.
335
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,406
Oh.
336
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,522
Look, Alex,
before we get started,
337
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,658
I'd like to officially apologize
for my behavior the other day.
338
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:21,560
It was... it was
very unprofessional.
339
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,028
Well, I'd like to
apologize also.
340
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,264
I-I didn't mean to
slander psychology.
341
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:28,400
It's definitely better
than women's studies.
342
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,102
And I'm sorry I criticized
343
00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:32,093
your incredible, all-consuming
money obsession.
344
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,810
Not your normal exchange
of apologies but, uh...
345
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,678
it's all we got.
346
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:42,181
- Shall we get to work, then?
- Sure.
347
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,316
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait...
348
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:46,018
I... I don't want to harp on
this money issue,
349
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,587
but if you're going to
electrocute me,
350
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,646
I'd like another $75
for my family.
351
00:14:52,691 --> 00:14:55,194
Alex, this is just
a polygraph machine.
352
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:57,763
If someone displays undue
tension or an increase in pulse
353
00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:59,431
when answering a question,
354
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:02,968
the machine buzzes, and I know
they're not telling the truth.
355
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:04,670
Does it really bother you?
356
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:05,838
No, no, absolutely not.
357
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,373
Absolutely not. Uh...
358
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,364
- I got nothing to hide.
- (polygraph buzzes)
359
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:20,152
Oh, good. It's working.
360
00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:22,888
Now, first I'd like to
ask you a few questions
361
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,356
to see how well you'll fit in
362
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,258
with the rest of
the subject group.
363
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,727
Now, politically, would you
describe yourself as liberal,
364
00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:30,829
middle of the road,
or conservative?
365
00:15:30,829 --> 00:15:33,999
Uh, well, I-I... I don't really
like political labels.
366
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,023
(polygraph buzzes)
367
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,004
Conservative.
368
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,040
Thank you.
369
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,574
Okay, overachievers...
370
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:45,377
they tend to meticulously plan
out every aspect of their lives,
371
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:47,346
from graduation to retirement.
372
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,581
Do you see yourself
as an obsessive planner?
373
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:50,916
What, me?
374
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:52,907
- No.
- (polygraph buzzes)
375
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:56,922
Well, I-I wouldn't
say "obsessive."
376
00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,913
(polygraph buzzes)
377
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,517
I'm a planning maniac.
378
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,502
Now, the typical overachiever
379
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,237
is so focused on
classes and career
380
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:14,106
that there's not
much time left for dating.
381
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,476
Would you say you have
a very active social life?
382
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:21,146
An... active...
active social life.
383
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,748
Yeah. Are you actively dating?
384
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,648
(exhales)
385
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,659
Well...
386
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:37,663
I go out on a couple
of dates a week.
387
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,324
- Maybe more.
- (polygraph buzzes)
388
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,508
This particular week
was a little slow.
389
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:50,497
(polygraph buzzes)
390
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,679
This particular year
was a little slow.
391
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:54,668
(polygraph buzzes)
392
00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:58,450
You're lucky you don't
have one of these
393
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,085
strapped to you in real life.
394
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,220
Look, I'm just... I just...
395
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,654
I'm not very good
at sitting here
396
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:03,989
and answering these
personal questions, you know?
397
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,824
Uh, maybe if it was a little
more of a give and take.
398
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:07,359
You know, maybe if
I asked you some questions?
399
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,194
Okay, but Alex, I'm not the one
that's being studied here.
400
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,763
I'm not the overachiever.
401
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,664
Hey, come on,
you can't be doing too bad.
402
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:15,868
I mean, not everybody gets to do
an honors thesis in psychology.
403
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,336
Well, that's different.
404
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,072
Psychology's always come
very naturally for me.
405
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:22,063
Even when I was a kid, I was...
406
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:25,477
You really don't
want to hear about this.
407
00:17:25,477 --> 00:17:27,880
No, no! I do, I do!
I... really.
408
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,848
It'll-It'll-It'll make us more
comfortable with each other.
409
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:32,840
I'll be able to lie in
a much more relaxed fashion.
410
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,687
I remember when I was a kid,
411
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:38,157
my mother came into my room
and she was screaming at me,
412
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,259
'cause I'd made this
huge mess in the kitchen.
413
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,393
Thanks.
414
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,595
She must have yelled
at me for about an hour,
415
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:44,863
and when she finished, I just...
416
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,499
I looked at her
very calmly and said,
417
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,626
"So how does that
make you feel, Mom?"
418
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,138
That must have driven her crazy.
419
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,740
And the crazier she got,
420
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,176
the more interested
I became in psychology.
421
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,410
All my girlfriends
had pictures of
422
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,913
David Cassidy and John Travolta
423
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,448
in their... in their
lockers at school.
424
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,317
I had this big picture of Freud.
425
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:09,655
All my friends had pictures of
Jaclyn Smith, Farrah Fawcett...
426
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,647
and, uh, I had this
big picture of Pat Nixon.
427
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:21,233
Um, now that we're more relaxed
with each other,
428
00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,968
let's get back to work, okay?
429
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:26,305
Yeah, how about...
how about you, uh, Lauren?
430
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:29,007
Are you actively dating?
431
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:32,978
That's an area of my life
that's in a holding pattern.
432
00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:34,947
I wish I could be as
analytical about love
433
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,316
as you overachievers, but...
434
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,684
I guess you could say that
435
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:41,253
I'm in the "hopeless romantic"
category.
436
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,755
Right.
437
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,157
You know, I don't think that
438
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,592
we're gonna get
a lot done today.
439
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,026
Why don't we just wrap it up?
440
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:50,963
Or we could just continue
talking about this informally.
441
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,098
Uh, maybe over a cup of coffee?
442
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:54,967
Coffee?
443
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,802
I don't know.
444
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,793
Is this a beverage problem?
445
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:07,713
No, I just...
we've just got such a great
446
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,215
psychologist-overachiever
relationship, and I'd...
447
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,151
- I'd hate to see that change.
- Right, I understand.
448
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,986
Anyway, I've got a class
in a couple of minutes.
449
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,288
Sure.
450
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,357
Oh, by the way, Alex...
451
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,858
I'd like to come by your house
sometime this week
452
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:21,026
and talk to your family.
453
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:22,494
I like to get a firsthand look
454
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,830
at each overachiever's
home environment.
455
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,298
I'll see you.
456
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,200
Just what I need.
457
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,191
A psychologist
who makes house calls.
458
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,272
Oh, great, good,
everybody's here.
459
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,907
Now is a good time
for us to go over
460
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,275
what we're going to say
when Lauren gets here.
461
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,477
No, Alex, I know exactly
what I'm gonna say.
462
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:40,012
I've been waiting 18 years
463
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,071
to discuss you with someone
in the mental health field.
464
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,718
Look, Mal, you got
to be very careful
465
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,754
what you say to a psychologist.
466
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:52,424
That's why I've, uh, drawn up
some appropriate comments...
467
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:54,459
for all of you.
468
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:57,329
"Alex is more than a son.
469
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,998
"He's a friend.
470
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,667
"A companion.
471
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,069
"Someone with whom I can
spend many happy hours
472
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,939
discussing politics, world
affairs and current events."
473
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,941
Alex, I'm afraid
if I read this aloud
474
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,176
I'll be struck by lightning.
475
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,878
Mom...
476
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,280
"Mom, please read the 'Alex is
more than a son' speech
477
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,475
if Dad refuses to."
478
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,386
"When I think of Alex,
three words come to mind:
479
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,223
Integrity, intelligence,
intellect."
480
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,524
And, of course,
481
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:28,516
the soon-to-be-added
"institutionalized."
482
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:33,232
No improvising.
483
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,100
"The thing I love
best about Alex
484
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,436
is that whenever
I have a problem, he's around."
485
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,427
You are never
interested in my problems.
486
00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:42,040
Where does it say
I'm interested?
487
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,276
It says I'm around.
488
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,746
There's a psychologist
out there.
489
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,782
Good, there's
a crazy person in here.
490
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:53,819
Lauren. Uh... uh, um...
491
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,087
Everybody,
this is Lauren Miller.
492
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,655
Lauren, this is
my father Steven Keaton,
493
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,323
- My mother Elyse Keaton...
- Hi, Lauren.
494
00:20:58,323 --> 00:20:59,658
- Hi.
- Uh, my sisters Jennifer,
495
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,526
Mallory and I guess
you met Andy.
496
00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:03,028
I really want to thank you all
497
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,596
for taking the time
to talk with me.
498
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:07,032
I always find that visiting
the home of an overachiever
499
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:09,234
gives me a special perspective.
500
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:11,225
You should see what
living with one does.
501
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,373
STEVE:
Well, uh...
502
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:17,009
why don't we go
into the living room?
503
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,410
You know, uh, Lauren,
504
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,746
Alex is more than a son, he...
505
00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:22,737
I can't do it.
506
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:28,654
Andy! Andy, Andy.
507
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:29,921
How's it going in there, buddy?
508
00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:31,189
I'm not sure.
509
00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,520
What does "straight jacket" mean?
510
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,630
So I said, I don't care
how much interest
511
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:40,565
a money market is making, Alex.
512
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:42,556
I don't think it's a very
nice gift for Grandma.
513
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,171
Lauren! Lauren!
Uh, Lauren...
514
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:47,739
Uh, can I speak
to you for a minute?
515
00:21:47,739 --> 00:21:48,974
Sure. What's up?
516
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,375
Nothing.
517
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,511
Uh, we just... we never really
had a chance to say hello.
518
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:55,036
- Hi.
- Hi.
519
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,816
Uh, so how's it going in there?
520
00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,819
Well, the only thing
I can tell you for sure
521
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,582
is that you're not normal.
522
00:22:04,022 --> 00:22:05,724
But other than that,
there's no sign of
523
00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:07,059
a severely maladjusted id,
524
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,560
or a wildly fluctuating ego.
525
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:09,895
Which in Freudian terms means...
526
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:12,264
They're the two elements
balanced by the superego.
527
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,255
How did you know that?
528
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:17,302
Uh, well, I-I, uh...
529
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:19,571
I took some Freud out of
the library the other day.
530
00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:22,641
I just figured since you were...
you were spending so much time
531
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,409
uh, trying to figure me out,
532
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:27,612
I'd, um, I'd see
what made you tick.
533
00:22:27,612 --> 00:22:29,181
Uh, actually,
the interesting thing is
534
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,183
this Freud's
a pretty amazing guy.
535
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:34,086
Although I do think he's a
little too sexually oriented.
536
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:35,954
Really?
537
00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:37,945
That's kind of what
I liked about him.
538
00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:44,196
I'm really surprised
you did that, Alex.
539
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,865
It's a very non-overachiever-ish
thing to do.
540
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:49,534
Yeah, well, I felt pretty
non-overachiever-ish
541
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,468
when I did it.
542
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:54,272
I'm gonna get back inside.
543
00:22:54,272 --> 00:22:55,707
Yeah, Lauren?
544
00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:57,376
What?
545
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,979
You be careful on your way
into that living room.
546
00:23:00,979 --> 00:23:02,214
Thanks.
547
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,579
I will.
548
00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:09,321
I guess you could say
I've always wanted to excel.
549
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:12,324
I mean, even as a young boy.
550
00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:15,060
But it wasn't so much the
winning that mattered to me...
551
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,051
(polygraph buzzes)
552
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,567
...it was the pure enjoyment
of the competition.
553
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:25,170
(polygraph buzzes)
554
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,706
And I've always felt,
in my heart...
555
00:23:27,706 --> 00:23:29,697
(polygraph buzzes)
556
00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:33,512
You know, the amazing thing is
557
00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:35,503
it's not even on.
558
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,956
All right, I think I've had
enough abuse for one day.
559
00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:47,292
Okay, that was a great session.
560
00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:49,661
Thanks.
561
00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:51,096
You know, I had a terrific time
562
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,697
talking to your family
the other day.
563
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,332
They really seem to
love you a lot.
564
00:23:54,332 --> 00:23:56,735
You sure it was my family
you were talking to?
565
00:23:56,735 --> 00:23:58,937
They gave me a lot
of great information.
566
00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:01,906
And they told me about Ellen.
567
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,677
Oh, yeah.
568
00:24:05,677 --> 00:24:07,245
Do you mind discussing her?
569
00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:08,713
Because if you'd rather not...
570
00:24:08,713 --> 00:24:09,915
Oh, no, no, no... no problem.
571
00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,974
No, I... I love
to talk about Ellen.
572
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,687
What do you want to know?
573
00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:18,790
Well, psychologically speaking,
it's interesting
574
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,225
that you should be
in a relationship
575
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:22,127
with a girl like Ellen.
576
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,229
I mean, considering
that most overachievers
577
00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:27,365
look for other overachievers
to go out with.
578
00:24:27,365 --> 00:24:30,502
I mean, she was an artist,
wasn't she?
579
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:31,803
Uh, yeah, an artist...
580
00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:34,072
dancer, a poet...
581
00:24:34,072 --> 00:24:36,808
yeah, we were
complete opposites.
582
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:39,010
Why did you break up?
583
00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:42,247
Oh, she got a dance scholarship
in Paris.
584
00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:46,184
I got one, too, but...
585
00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:48,353
Do you miss her?
586
00:24:48,353 --> 00:24:50,088
(sighs)
587
00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:52,390
Sure... yeah.
588
00:24:52,390 --> 00:24:56,795
I-I miss her in the way that you
miss a close friend, you know?
589
00:24:56,795 --> 00:24:59,331
I mean, Ellen...
Ellen taught me a lot.
590
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:01,466
She taught me how
to appreciate art.
591
00:25:01,466 --> 00:25:05,926
Or... at least not
to laugh at it so much.
592
00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:10,108
She taught me...
593
00:25:10,108 --> 00:25:12,777
She taught me how to come out
of my emotional shell.
594
00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:15,280
You know? Be more...
more giving.
595
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,648
More open.
596
00:25:16,648 --> 00:25:18,850
More caring.
597
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:21,410
Made me a better person.
598
00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:25,784
Alex, what you just said
was really beautiful.
599
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,227
I mean, it was almost poetic.
600
00:25:29,227 --> 00:25:31,296
Well, that hardly
seems possible.
601
00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:33,287
Nothing rhymed.
602
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,970
It just doesn't add up.
603
00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:41,773
I mean, on the surface, you're
this business-oriented,
604
00:25:41,773 --> 00:25:44,142
money-minded, conservative guy,
605
00:25:44,142 --> 00:25:45,777
yet you fell
for a girl like Ellen,
606
00:25:45,777 --> 00:25:48,613
and expressed those kind
of feelings.
607
00:25:48,613 --> 00:25:52,083
You're definitely the most
complex overachiever I know.
608
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:54,553
How many of us do you know?
609
00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:56,788
Well, I've interviewed
12 people so far.
610
00:25:56,788 --> 00:25:59,591
And I was going out
with this guy
611
00:25:59,591 --> 00:26:02,861
who definitely qualified
as an overachiever.
612
00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:05,630
You-you and an overachiever?
613
00:26:05,630 --> 00:26:08,531
That seems biologically
impossible.
614
00:26:10,201 --> 00:26:12,604
He was a graduate student
in business management.
615
00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:14,595
And you let him go?
616
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,344
Well, we went out
for almost a year.
617
00:26:19,344 --> 00:26:21,212
It was sort of like your
relationship with Ellen.
618
00:26:21,212 --> 00:26:23,848
We were also complete opposites.
619
00:26:23,848 --> 00:26:26,451
But we did have some good times.
620
00:26:26,451 --> 00:26:28,253
What happened?
621
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:31,556
Got a job offer from a big
investment firm on Wall Street,
622
00:26:31,556 --> 00:26:35,160
his own office
and $50,000 a year to start.
623
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,494
So he left.
624
00:26:36,494 --> 00:26:39,486
Well, you can't
really blame the guy.
625
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,137
I don't blame him.
626
00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:48,473
It was mutual...
I mean, I-I...
627
00:26:48,473 --> 00:26:51,242
I got tired of interpreting
his dreams.
628
00:26:51,242 --> 00:26:54,713
They were always about BMWs.
629
00:26:54,713 --> 00:26:58,883
Uh, so, you, uh, you haven't
seen anybody since then?
630
00:26:58,883 --> 00:27:01,419
Alex, how come you're the one
631
00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:03,655
that always ends up asking me
the questions?
632
00:27:03,655 --> 00:27:05,156
I'll share
my hundred bucks with you.
633
00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:07,147
Seventy-five.
634
00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:10,250
Don't be so hung up on money.
635
00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:13,965
No, I haven't seen
anybody since then.
636
00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:16,034
I guess you can say
I've been kind of wary
637
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:18,670
- about getting involved.
- All right.
638
00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,238
Have you seen anybody
since Ellen?
639
00:27:20,238 --> 00:27:22,607
No.
640
00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:26,044
I guess you could say
I've been pretty wary myself.
641
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,045
- I guess it's best that way.
- Yeah, I mean...
642
00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:28,046
that way nobody gets hurt.
643
00:27:28,046 --> 00:27:29,877
Exactly.
644
00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:34,486
Although, um...
645
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:37,956
although, sometimes if you take
the chance of getting hurt...
646
00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:40,158
you could be surprised.
647
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,854
That's true.
648
00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:48,266
Look, Alex, I got some research
I want you to comment on.
649
00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:49,790
Right.
650
00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:54,305
I mean, I had some research I
wanted you to comment on.
651
00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:55,840
- I got it, here.
- No, no, I got it.
652
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,108
No, let me get it...
653
00:27:57,108 --> 00:27:59,099
Got it; I got it.
654
00:28:06,484 --> 00:28:09,087
Uh... Lauren, look,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
655
00:28:09,087 --> 00:28:10,288
I-I didn't,
I didn't mean to kiss you.
656
00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:12,023
I was, I was helping you
with the papers
657
00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:13,650
and your lips got in the way.
658
00:28:17,896 --> 00:28:20,131
It's okay; this is really
interesting stuff here.
659
00:28:20,131 --> 00:28:22,656
It's... you'll hardly
be able to put it down.
660
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:32,010
- Alex, I got to go.
- Lauren, uh...
661
00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:33,712
Lauren, wait a minute, um...
662
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:36,203
Look, uh, we were
just getting good at that.
663
00:28:41,152 --> 00:28:42,520
- Is Alex home yet?
- Not yet, honey.
664
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,122
He still must be at school.
665
00:28:44,122 --> 00:28:46,658
Oh. High school's gonna be
a lot rougher than I thought.
666
00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:48,993
This algebra course is a killer.
667
00:28:48,993 --> 00:28:50,428
Well, maybe
we can help you, Jen.
668
00:28:50,428 --> 00:28:52,464
I think I better wait for Alex.
669
00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:53,998
Wait a minute. Wait a min...
670
00:28:53,998 --> 00:28:57,001
You're sitting here, uh, with
two college graduates.
671
00:28:57,001 --> 00:28:59,304
I'm sure we can handle it.
Right, Elyse?
672
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:01,773
I think we should wait for Alex.
673
00:29:01,773 --> 00:29:03,475
Give me a shot.
674
00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:06,611
I'm not optimistic
about this, Dad.
675
00:29:06,611 --> 00:29:09,180
Go ahead; I'm listening.
676
00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:10,381
"There are two trains.
677
00:29:10,381 --> 00:29:12,217
"If the first train's
destination is
678
00:29:12,217 --> 00:29:14,619
"a thousand miles away,
and it travels at a speed
679
00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:17,355
"of 120 miles an hour
for two hours,
680
00:29:17,355 --> 00:29:19,491
"making three stops
of ten minutes each,
681
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:22,994
"at what point will it pass a
train coming from 700 miles away
682
00:29:22,994 --> 00:29:26,164
"in the opposite direction,
traveling 90 miles an hour,
683
00:29:26,164 --> 00:29:29,467
making stops of 18,
12 and ten minutes?"
684
00:29:29,467 --> 00:29:32,197
(sighs)
685
00:29:36,341 --> 00:29:39,310
There-there are
two trains, right?
686
00:29:39,310 --> 00:29:41,613
I'll send Alex up
when he gets home.
687
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,103
Thanks.
688
00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:46,084
Hey.
689
00:29:46,084 --> 00:29:47,552
Alex, when you have a chance,
690
00:29:47,552 --> 00:29:49,354
Jen could use some help
on an algebra problem?
691
00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:51,089
Yeah, I'll go up in a minute...
can I talk to you guys?
692
00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:52,657
- STEVEN: Oh.
- Sure, what's up?
693
00:29:52,657 --> 00:29:55,059
I did something
incredible today.
694
00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:57,629
Something I told myself
I'd never do.
695
00:29:57,629 --> 00:30:01,399
You helped a Democrat
cross the street?
696
00:30:01,399 --> 00:30:03,201
Worse.
697
00:30:03,201 --> 00:30:04,502
You see, it happened during
698
00:30:04,502 --> 00:30:06,070
one of my research sessions
with Lauren.
699
00:30:06,070 --> 00:30:09,073
Um... we were talking,
you know,
700
00:30:09,073 --> 00:30:12,577
this, that, you know,
and, uh, um...
701
00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:16,181
Anyway, one thing and another,
you know...
702
00:30:16,181 --> 00:30:18,883
Well, what happened
after you kissed her?
703
00:30:18,883 --> 00:30:21,653
I-I, I, I fumbled out
a little apology.
704
00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,555
I mean, it was a little kiss.
705
00:30:23,555 --> 00:30:25,089
It was a little nothing.
706
00:30:25,089 --> 00:30:27,258
And then-then,
then she kissed me.
707
00:30:27,258 --> 00:30:29,394
A big one.
708
00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:31,760
Nearly tore the ligaments
in my neck.
709
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,034
And, uh, and then-then-then
she just ran out of the room.
710
00:30:36,034 --> 00:30:37,735
And you haven't seen her since?
711
00:30:37,735 --> 00:30:39,637
Well, judging
by my romantic history,
712
00:30:39,637 --> 00:30:41,940
she's probably on a plane
for Paris right now.
713
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,308
They have that
regularly scheduled
714
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:46,144
"Au revoir, Alex" flight.
715
00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:49,914
Alex, does Lauren know
how you feel about her?
716
00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:52,250
I don't know how
I feel about her.
717
00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:55,753
I mean, on one hand, I can't
stop thinking about her.
718
00:30:55,753 --> 00:30:57,922
And on the other hand,
I'm just not ready
719
00:30:57,922 --> 00:30:59,753
for this kind
of relationship right now.
720
00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:03,294
Hey, what's going on?
721
00:31:03,294 --> 00:31:06,297
Oh, we're, uh, having
a private discussion, Mal.
722
00:31:06,297 --> 00:31:08,566
Great. What's it about?
723
00:31:08,566 --> 00:31:12,103
Private... meaning I'd rather
not discuss it with you.
724
00:31:12,103 --> 00:31:15,206
Alex, why won't you share some
of your emotional life with me?
725
00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:18,076
After all, there's so little
of it to go around.
726
00:31:18,076 --> 00:31:21,045
Because, Mal, whenever I tell
you something personal,
727
00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:24,949
it's instantly transmitted up
to some big gossip satellite
728
00:31:24,949 --> 00:31:27,185
in the sky,
and then beamed back down
729
00:31:27,185 --> 00:31:30,788
into the otherwise empty heads
of your rumor-mongering friends.
730
00:31:30,788 --> 00:31:34,392
Alex, I won't tell a soul;
I promise.
731
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:36,060
(clears throat)
732
00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:38,396
Well, there's-there's an outside
possibility
733
00:31:38,396 --> 00:31:39,998
that I may have developed
something other
734
00:31:39,998 --> 00:31:42,634
than a professional relationship
with Lauren.
735
00:31:42,634 --> 00:31:45,870
Oh, I've already spread
that gossip.
736
00:31:45,870 --> 00:31:47,438
How do you know?
737
00:31:47,438 --> 00:31:49,407
Because you always wear
that-that blue sweater
738
00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:50,541
when you want to impress a girl.
739
00:31:50,541 --> 00:31:52,744
The one with the monogrammed
"APK" on it.
740
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:54,612
It's totally wrong for you,
by the way.
741
00:31:54,612 --> 00:31:58,216
Makes you look like
a big, blue bath towel.
742
00:31:58,216 --> 00:32:01,819
That's the look
I was going for, Mal.
743
00:32:01,819 --> 00:32:03,521
Well, congratulations.
744
00:32:03,521 --> 00:32:05,790
Anyway, this whole thing is
complicated by the fact
745
00:32:05,790 --> 00:32:08,359
that Lauren has already been
through a bad experience
746
00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:09,894
with another guy.
747
00:32:09,894 --> 00:32:12,163
Well, then that's perfectly
understandable behavior
748
00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:13,798
coming off a breakup.
749
00:32:13,798 --> 00:32:14,966
Mom's right.
750
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:16,868
I know if Nick was
suddenly out of my life,
751
00:32:16,868 --> 00:32:19,837
I'd have a hard time starting a
relationship with somebody new.
752
00:32:19,837 --> 00:32:22,829
You'll never know until you try.
753
00:32:26,744 --> 00:32:29,380
No, I think what
I should do here is continue
754
00:32:29,380 --> 00:32:31,115
with the sessions, you know?
755
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,583
Pretend that nothing happened.
756
00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:36,321
Feel her out, and don't commit
until she commits.
757
00:32:36,321 --> 00:32:37,555
Alex, I think you should
tell her how you feel.
758
00:32:37,555 --> 00:32:40,491
Be as open and honest
as you can.
759
00:32:40,491 --> 00:32:43,161
I can't be open
and honest with her.
760
00:32:43,161 --> 00:32:44,829
She's a psychology major.
761
00:32:44,829 --> 00:32:46,820
She'll see right through that.
762
00:32:47,932 --> 00:32:50,868
We-we were just talking.
763
00:32:50,868 --> 00:32:54,895
One thing lead to another
and then he kissed me.
764
00:32:57,842 --> 00:33:00,778
No, I'm not gonna tell him
how I feel about him.
765
00:33:00,778 --> 00:33:03,281
I don't even know
how I feel about him.
766
00:33:03,281 --> 00:33:04,749
(knocking on door)
767
00:33:04,749 --> 00:33:06,384
All right, here he is.
768
00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:09,153
I want everything to be
completely business-like.
769
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:10,745
Maybe you should go.
770
00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:22,967
Hello.
771
00:33:22,967 --> 00:33:24,202
Hello.
772
00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:25,970
Come in.
773
00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:27,205
Got a lot of ground
to cover today.
774
00:33:27,205 --> 00:33:29,007
- Why don't we get started?
- Fine.
775
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:31,042
Fine, I'm ready to work.
776
00:33:31,042 --> 00:33:33,177
That's why I'm here.
777
00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:34,879
Good.
778
00:33:34,879 --> 00:33:37,248
Okay, last time we discussed
your childhood
779
00:33:37,248 --> 00:33:39,150
and your scholastic career.
780
00:33:39,150 --> 00:33:41,252
Today I'd like
to discuss your future.
781
00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:42,520
Fine.
782
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,323
How do you picture your life
ten years from now?
783
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:47,492
Ten years from now?
Uh, let me see.
784
00:33:47,492 --> 00:33:49,027
Um, well I'd probably
be a partner
785
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:51,295
in a major New York
banking firm,
786
00:33:51,295 --> 00:33:54,432
making a quarter
of a million dollars a year.
787
00:33:54,432 --> 00:33:56,801
Uh, I'll have a condo in
Manhattan,
788
00:33:56,801 --> 00:33:59,637
beach house in Long Island,
789
00:33:59,637 --> 00:34:01,002
house in-between.
790
00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:05,942
For storage.
791
00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:09,414
Uh... (exhales)
792
00:34:09,414 --> 00:34:12,083
Couple of cars, a boat...
793
00:34:12,083 --> 00:34:14,819
helicopter.
794
00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:19,483
And a huge electrical fence
to keep poor relatives out.
795
00:34:22,527 --> 00:34:24,762
How about you... how do you see
yourself ten years from now?
796
00:34:24,762 --> 00:34:26,664
Alex, this is how
we get into trouble.
797
00:34:26,664 --> 00:34:29,534
You start asking questions,
you throw me off track,
798
00:34:29,534 --> 00:34:31,069
the next thing you know,
we're on the floor
799
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:33,004
and you're kissing me.
800
00:34:33,004 --> 00:34:34,972
While we're on this topic,
let me just say
801
00:34:34,972 --> 00:34:37,108
that while I was kissing you,
you were kissing me.
802
00:34:37,108 --> 00:34:38,543
What happened
at our last session was
803
00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:40,278
a very natural thing.
804
00:34:40,278 --> 00:34:42,580
We were opening up emotionally
to each other,
805
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,315
things got a little out of hand.
806
00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:46,851
It happens all the time.
807
00:34:46,851 --> 00:34:49,520
Lauren, if that happens
all the time...
808
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,546
you're gonna be the most popular
psychologist in Ohio.
809
00:34:54,559 --> 00:34:57,428
It's a very simple
psychological phenomenon
810
00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,797
known as
"emotional transference."
811
00:34:59,797 --> 00:35:01,332
It's well-documented
in the literature.
812
00:35:01,332 --> 00:35:02,856
Look, I'll show you.
813
00:35:04,602 --> 00:35:07,572
Try looking under "kiss."
814
00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:10,808
"Transference...
the psychological carryover
815
00:35:10,808 --> 00:35:12,276
"of learned emotional responses
816
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:15,246
"from one behavioral situation
to another.
817
00:35:15,246 --> 00:35:17,237
See 'Kiss."'
818
00:35:19,717 --> 00:35:22,086
I was just like it noted,
for the record,
819
00:35:22,086 --> 00:35:23,588
that we were kissing each other.
820
00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:24,689
It's duly noted.
821
00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:25,857
Thank you, Miss Miller.
822
00:35:25,857 --> 00:35:27,586
You're welcome, Mr. Kiss.
823
00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:33,631
Well, now that we've gotten
that cleared up,
824
00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:35,366
may we please continue?
825
00:35:35,366 --> 00:35:37,357
Yes, ma'am.
826
00:35:38,903 --> 00:35:40,438
Okay.
827
00:35:40,438 --> 00:35:42,206
So far, you've got
a quarter of a million dollars
828
00:35:42,206 --> 00:35:45,576
and a huge fence.
829
00:35:45,576 --> 00:35:48,412
That's a very full life.
830
00:35:48,412 --> 00:35:50,481
Are you married?
831
00:35:50,481 --> 00:35:51,883
Definitely, definitely.
832
00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:53,351
And what's your wife like?
833
00:35:53,351 --> 00:35:55,987
She's a, she's a warm...
834
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:57,822
wonderful caring woman.
835
00:35:57,822 --> 00:36:00,723
Who looks great
in an evening gown.
836
00:36:02,693 --> 00:36:03,961
Understands my needs.
837
00:36:03,961 --> 00:36:05,863
You know, my priorities
are her priorities.
838
00:36:05,863 --> 00:36:08,065
You know, she's always there
for me, willing to listen.
839
00:36:08,065 --> 00:36:11,802
You know, to stand behind me,
to support me, comfort me.
840
00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:12,870
Uh-huh.
841
00:36:12,870 --> 00:36:14,639
Where are you planning
to meet her,
842
00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:16,266
at dog obedience school?
843
00:36:26,417 --> 00:36:29,253
All right, what is that
supposed to mean?
844
00:36:29,253 --> 00:36:31,956
Nothing, nothing at all.
845
00:36:31,956 --> 00:36:34,158
It's just that she sounds
a tad subservient.
846
00:36:34,158 --> 00:36:35,393
Subservient?
847
00:36:35,393 --> 00:36:37,428
How is that subservient?
848
00:36:37,428 --> 00:36:40,488
She'll have a key to the fence.
849
00:36:43,734 --> 00:36:46,837
And I can just imagine what
your husband is gonna be like.
850
00:36:46,837 --> 00:36:48,339
And what's that supposed
to mean?
851
00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:52,910
Well, you'll probably have him
strapped to a polygraph machine.
852
00:36:52,910 --> 00:36:56,247
Make sure all his feelings,
all his emotions are real.
853
00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:58,149
That's right.
I'd like to be with a man
854
00:36:58,149 --> 00:37:00,017
who's not afraid
to express his feelings.
855
00:37:00,017 --> 00:37:01,152
What's wrong with that?
856
00:37:01,152 --> 00:37:02,720
Absolutely nothing.
857
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:05,723
Why don't we give
Phil Donahue a call?
858
00:37:05,723 --> 00:37:07,592
Well, let's just hope,
for your sake,
859
00:37:07,592 --> 00:37:10,928
that in ten years,
Pat Nixon is available.
860
00:37:10,928 --> 00:37:13,631
Oh, oh, now you're making fun
of Pat Nixon.
861
00:37:13,631 --> 00:37:16,500
Is nothing sacred to you?
862
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:18,502
You know, I hope you
can make that fence
863
00:37:18,502 --> 00:37:20,972
of yours real tall, Alex,
'cause I wouldn't want you
864
00:37:20,972 --> 00:37:23,174
to see any part
of the real world by mistake.
865
00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:25,076
You're telling me about
the real world?
866
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,511
A girl who holes up in
a psych lab
867
00:37:27,511 --> 00:37:30,648
behind all her books and her
reports, judging other people.
868
00:37:30,648 --> 00:37:32,116
Oh, good!
869
00:37:32,116 --> 00:37:34,752
Things are finally
getting out in the open here!
870
00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:37,021
Yeah, one more thing: You know,
I came here today thinking
871
00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:39,257
that maybe,
by some incredible chance,
872
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,025
we might have something
together.
873
00:37:41,025 --> 00:37:42,526
Boy, was I wrong.
874
00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:45,062
You know, for your information,
I was wondering the same thing.
875
00:37:45,062 --> 00:37:46,631
You know, I thought
you were different.
876
00:37:46,631 --> 00:37:49,033
I must have been crazy.
You're just like all the others.
877
00:37:49,033 --> 00:37:51,469
All right, okay, here we are,
back to the first day...
878
00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:52,536
the big generalizations.
879
00:37:52,536 --> 00:37:54,305
All of us overachievers
are the same.
880
00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:56,641
All right, look, every response
is identical.
881
00:37:56,641 --> 00:37:58,676
"I want a quarter
of a million dollars.
882
00:37:58,676 --> 00:38:00,111
"I want a beach house.
883
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,847
I want a fence to keep
my relatives out."
884
00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:04,615
You know, the biggest
distinction is whether
885
00:38:04,615 --> 00:38:08,019
to get the Jaguar in black,
red or racing green.
886
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:10,010
They come in racing green?
887
00:38:15,192 --> 00:38:17,495
You know, I'll tell you
this much.
888
00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:20,865
The guy I fell for isn't
gonna plan his life out
889
00:38:20,865 --> 00:38:22,566
according to some graph.
890
00:38:22,566 --> 00:38:25,303
And his wife isn't going to be
a walking Barbie doll.
891
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,305
He's gonna be overwhelmed
with passion
892
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:29,106
and devastated by emotion
893
00:38:29,106 --> 00:38:31,475
and exhausted by the intensity
of his love.
894
00:38:31,475 --> 00:38:35,138
And I was overwhelmed and
devastated and exhausted.
895
00:38:36,347 --> 00:38:38,338
I just freshened up
before I came over here.
896
00:38:40,184 --> 00:38:41,652
I don't know why I bothered.
897
00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:42,753
You know, I really
don't see any point
898
00:38:42,753 --> 00:38:44,188
with going on
with these sessions.
899
00:38:44,188 --> 00:38:45,323
No, that's great...
why don't you just send
900
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,524
the check to my house,
all right?
901
00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:48,826
Of course.
You'll get your precious check.
902
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:51,896
Hey, Chester, don't ever evolve.
903
00:38:51,896 --> 00:38:53,727
It's not worth it.
904
00:38:58,569 --> 00:39:00,404
- STEVEN: All right.
- (Elyse and Andrew chatting)
905
00:39:00,404 --> 00:39:01,605
STEVEN:
Hey.
906
00:39:01,605 --> 00:39:03,207
ALEX:
Hey, where's everybody going?
907
00:39:03,207 --> 00:39:05,609
We're taking Andy
to see Snow White.
908
00:39:05,609 --> 00:39:07,478
Snow White.
909
00:39:07,478 --> 00:39:08,706
There was a gal.
910
00:39:11,649 --> 00:39:14,485
Not too many like her anymore.
911
00:39:14,485 --> 00:39:17,254
Sweet, pretty...
912
00:39:17,254 --> 00:39:20,691
Whistled while she worked.
913
00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:24,328
Easy, son, the woman's animated.
914
00:39:24,328 --> 00:39:27,991
Yeah, at this point, Dad,
I'd be willing to settle.
915
00:39:29,233 --> 00:39:30,701
What's the matter with you,
Alex?
916
00:39:30,701 --> 00:39:32,136
You don't look too great.
917
00:39:32,136 --> 00:39:34,939
Things, things didn't work out
between me and Lauren.
918
00:39:34,939 --> 00:39:37,108
Alex, I'm so sorry.
919
00:39:37,108 --> 00:39:41,078
You must have worn
the blue sweater.
920
00:39:41,078 --> 00:39:43,381
I appreciate your concern, Mal.
921
00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:45,383
This just isn't a fashion issue.
922
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:48,552
You want to go to the movie
with us, Alex?
923
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:51,689
The popcorn's on me.
924
00:39:51,689 --> 00:39:53,190
Come on along, Alex.
925
00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:55,593
Indulge your Snow White
fantasies.
926
00:39:55,593 --> 00:40:00,564
Yeah, Alex, you could pretend
to be the eighth dwarf... Greedy.
927
00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:02,199
Thanks, anyway, guys.
928
00:40:02,199 --> 00:40:04,935
I'm not really in the mood
for a fairy tale right now.
929
00:40:04,935 --> 00:40:06,270
Anyway, they're replaying
930
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:07,838
President Reagan's news
conference from this afternoon.
931
00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:10,674
I thought you said you weren't
in the mood for a fairy tale.
932
00:40:10,674 --> 00:40:11,909
- ALEX: Ah...
- ELYSE: Ah, ha-ha.
933
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,477
Just kidding.
934
00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:15,413
Okay, we'll see you later.
- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.
935
00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:16,614
- Bye.
- Bye.
936
00:40:16,614 --> 00:40:18,749
Hey, wait...
Mom, I thought you were going.
937
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,751
Well, to tell you the truth,
938
00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:22,453
I'm a little fed up
with Snow White.
939
00:40:22,453 --> 00:40:25,890
I mean, she's just so passive.
940
00:40:25,890 --> 00:40:27,792
You know, lying around waiting
for some prince
941
00:40:27,792 --> 00:40:29,794
to come and give her a kiss.
942
00:40:29,794 --> 00:40:32,663
What kind of role model
is that for women today?
943
00:40:32,663 --> 00:40:34,799
I think she should go to school,
get a degree,
944
00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:36,994
start a business
and hire a prince.
945
00:40:39,703 --> 00:40:42,035
Then she could kiss him
whenever she wants.
946
00:40:42,907 --> 00:40:44,175
- Settle down.
- Oh...
947
00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:46,677
I can't imagine what's
gonna happen
948
00:40:46,677 --> 00:40:49,046
when they rerelease Bambi.
949
00:40:49,046 --> 00:40:50,681
I'm all right. I'm fine.
950
00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:52,817
How are you doing?
951
00:40:52,817 --> 00:40:57,254
- You mean about Lauren?
- Mm-hmm.
952
00:40:57,254 --> 00:40:59,089
(sighs)
953
00:40:59,089 --> 00:41:02,793
I don't know, I, I figure
if it was meant to be,
954
00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:04,988
it would have happened by now.
955
00:41:06,964 --> 00:41:08,966
I've known you
a long time now...
956
00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:11,535
that doesn't mean
I fully understand you;
957
00:41:11,535 --> 00:41:14,004
doesn't mean
I even have a clue...
958
00:41:14,004 --> 00:41:15,673
but I-I-I do know one thing:
959
00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:17,141
You are not the kind of person
960
00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:20,811
who sits around and mopes
and casually takes defeat.
961
00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:25,282
I'm just, I'm trying to look
at it philosophically, you know?
962
00:41:25,282 --> 00:41:29,753
I mean, it's just part of...
part of growing up.
963
00:41:29,753 --> 00:41:33,157
It's part of
the maturing process.
964
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:36,024
Why doesn't she love me?!
965
00:41:38,295 --> 00:41:39,964
I'm not the one to ask, honey.
966
00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:41,866
I love you very much.
967
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:44,802
It's not the same.
968
00:41:44,802 --> 00:41:47,271
I'm well aware of that.
969
00:41:47,271 --> 00:41:49,807
But I have been thinking,
you know?
970
00:41:49,807 --> 00:41:54,378
You really seem to have
a passion for this girl Lauren.
971
00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:58,816
If I were you,
I'd-I'd get the hell over there.
972
00:41:58,816 --> 00:42:00,716
Thanks, Mom.
973
00:42:02,786 --> 00:42:05,220
Tell Lauren your mommy sent you.
974
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:20,838
Alex.
975
00:42:20,838 --> 00:42:22,740
- Hi.
- Hi.
976
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:23,774
You busy?
977
00:42:23,774 --> 00:42:26,243
No. Come on in.
978
00:42:26,243 --> 00:42:29,813
Thanks.
979
00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:31,916
This is a surprise.
980
00:42:31,916 --> 00:42:34,646
Yeah, well, my mommy sent...
981
00:42:41,425 --> 00:42:44,662
Uh, so, this is your place, huh?
982
00:42:44,662 --> 00:42:45,996
Yeah.
983
00:42:45,996 --> 00:42:47,331
It's nice.
984
00:42:47,331 --> 00:42:49,400
It's, uh, it's very nice.
985
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,402
Thank you.
986
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:54,269
This your family?
987
00:43:00,611 --> 00:43:02,813
Alex, those are the Beatles.
988
00:43:02,813 --> 00:43:05,215
You have heard of the Beatles,
haven't you?
989
00:43:05,215 --> 00:43:06,884
Oh, hey, come on.
990
00:43:06,884 --> 00:43:09,086
Just 'cause I'm an overachiever
doesn't mean I'm not hip.
991
00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:11,155
No, I've heard of the Beatles.
992
00:43:11,155 --> 00:43:14,215
We should go and see them
play sometime.
993
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,529
Good idea.
994
00:43:18,529 --> 00:43:19,863
Look, Lauren, I don't want
995
00:43:19,863 --> 00:43:22,132
to take up too much
of your time, okay?
996
00:43:22,132 --> 00:43:23,968
I-I just came over
to say something,
997
00:43:23,968 --> 00:43:25,469
and I'm gonna say it.
998
00:43:25,469 --> 00:43:26,737
What is it, Alex?
999
00:43:26,737 --> 00:43:27,972
Lauren...
1000
00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:29,667
Yes, Alex?
1001
00:43:31,408 --> 00:43:34,678
Do you have the correct address
to send my check to?
1002
00:43:34,678 --> 00:43:36,839
Yeah, I've got your check.
1003
00:43:37,982 --> 00:43:40,384
Great.
1004
00:43:40,384 --> 00:43:43,087
- Well, thanks.
- Uh-huh.
1005
00:43:43,087 --> 00:43:44,321
Just, uh...
1006
00:43:44,321 --> 00:43:47,291
I guess that's, that's it.
1007
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:50,294
Yeah, I guess so.
1008
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:52,496
I mean, I got
what I came for, so...
1009
00:43:52,496 --> 00:43:54,361
Yeah.
1010
00:43:57,568 --> 00:43:59,336
Well, see ya.
1011
00:43:59,336 --> 00:44:02,828
Yeah... Yeah, I'll see ya.
1012
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:10,014
Look, Lauren, this check
is not what I came here for.
1013
00:44:10,014 --> 00:44:12,073
What's the matter?
You wanted cash?
1014
00:44:14,184 --> 00:44:17,354
No, look, I was just thinking
about what you said to me
1015
00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:20,457
about, about how I plot out
every aspect of my life,
1016
00:44:20,457 --> 00:44:22,559
and all I think about is money.
1017
00:44:22,559 --> 00:44:24,461
Alex, I was upset
when I said that.
1018
00:44:24,461 --> 00:44:26,395
No, no, you were right.
1019
00:44:28,132 --> 00:44:30,100
See, after, after
Ellen and I broke up,
1020
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:31,702
I ju... I just told myself
1021
00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:33,904
I wasn't gonna get involved
in any other relationships,
1022
00:44:33,904 --> 00:44:37,508
and, um, I'd just concentrate
on school and on career
1023
00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:40,875
and on making money,
and I thought I'd be happy.
1024
00:44:43,447 --> 00:44:45,574
And then I... met you...
1025
00:44:47,084 --> 00:44:49,853
...and those things just don't
seem like enough anymore.
1026
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:51,655
They don't?
1027
00:44:51,655 --> 00:44:54,625
I mean, don't get me wrong;
I mean, I love money.
1028
00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:59,329
But you can't come home at night
and cuddle up with money.
1029
00:44:59,329 --> 00:45:01,665
You know, you can't sit down
1030
00:45:01,665 --> 00:45:05,102
and pour your feelings out
to money.
1031
00:45:05,102 --> 00:45:07,371
You can't take a romantic
moonlight walk
1032
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:08,839
on the beach with money.
1033
00:45:08,839 --> 00:45:11,672
God knows I've tried.
1034
00:45:16,213 --> 00:45:18,716
There's just got to be more.
1035
00:45:18,716 --> 00:45:21,585
I just got to have someone
to care about.
1036
00:45:21,585 --> 00:45:24,188
Alex, what are you saying?
1037
00:45:24,188 --> 00:45:26,857
Lauren, uh...
1038
00:45:26,857 --> 00:45:29,193
you know how you have an image
of yourself
1039
00:45:29,193 --> 00:45:30,761
in your mind, you know?
1040
00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:32,663
And that, and that image is
of-of being,
1041
00:45:32,663 --> 00:45:34,031
being the best, you know?
1042
00:45:34,031 --> 00:45:36,667
Being the cleverest, the
happiest person that you can be.
1043
00:45:36,667 --> 00:45:38,135
Uh-huh.
1044
00:45:38,135 --> 00:45:41,672
I just feel like when I'm with
you, I can be that person.
1045
00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:43,774
I make you feel that way?
1046
00:45:43,774 --> 00:45:46,510
Lauren, I can't stop thinking
about you.
1047
00:45:46,510 --> 00:45:49,179
I, I want to be with you.
1048
00:45:49,179 --> 00:45:51,782
I want to hold you.
1049
00:45:51,782 --> 00:45:55,878
I want to open a joint
bank account with you.
1050
00:46:02,826 --> 00:46:04,762
I can't believe it.
1051
00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:06,563
It's true.
1052
00:46:06,563 --> 00:46:09,266
Lauren, I think I'm falling
in love with you.
1053
00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:10,601
That I can believe.
1054
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:13,195
It's the part about
the joint bank account.
1055
00:46:15,372 --> 00:46:17,841
Alex, you know when you said
that I was hiding
1056
00:46:17,841 --> 00:46:20,310
in my psych lab,
just making judgments on people?
1057
00:46:20,310 --> 00:46:23,313
You were right.
I have been hiding
1058
00:46:23,313 --> 00:46:25,449
because I was scared
of getting hurt.
1059
00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:29,620
But since you started coming in,
I felt incredibly alive.
1060
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:31,822
Also annoyed, bothered
and frustrated,
1061
00:46:31,822 --> 00:46:33,423
but mostly alive.
1062
00:46:33,423 --> 00:46:35,993
Alive is good!
1063
00:46:35,993 --> 00:46:38,629
Those are good signs.
1064
00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:42,566
But, Alex, you know, maybe we
shouldn't go so fast, though.
1065
00:46:42,566 --> 00:46:44,668
We should probably discuss
1066
00:46:44,668 --> 00:46:46,363
and try to place in some
perspective our...
1067
00:46:49,673 --> 00:46:52,335
What bank do you want
to start the account in?
1068
00:47:01,285 --> 00:47:03,845
I've always been partial
to First Federal.
1069
00:47:05,122 --> 00:47:06,657
Alex, you make me laugh.
1070
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,926
No one's ever made me laugh
like you before.
1071
00:47:08,926 --> 00:47:11,028
Well, you know,
if you've read Freud's jokes
1072
00:47:11,028 --> 00:47:12,429
on the relation
of the unconscious,
1073
00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:15,887
- you'll find that humor is
really... - Uh-huh.
1074
00:47:17,568 --> 00:47:21,338
You know, if you want to make
a million dollars and have a car
1075
00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:25,434
and a boat and a plane,
I can live with that.
1076
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:33,650
Don't forget
about the beach house.
1077
00:47:33,650 --> 00:47:36,380
Actually, a beach house
would be very nice.
1078
00:47:37,955 --> 00:47:40,090
I was hoping you didn't come by
here just to pick up your check.
1079
00:47:40,090 --> 00:47:43,218
Check? I couldn't care less
about that check.
1080
00:48:18,161 --> 00:48:19,997
MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
1081
00:48:19,997 --> 00:48:21,123
(Ubu barks)
1082
00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:31,500
Ripped By mstoll